小学生作文习作·游记 A Visit to…

小学生作文习作·游记 A Visit to…

上海动物园游记　A Visit to the Shanghai Zoo

It is a sunny day today. My parents and I go to the Shanghai Zoo. There are many animals in it, such as lions, giraffes, pandas, and monkeys.

We see the lions in the cage first. They are strong. Their teeth are big and sharp. Look, some lions are eating meat and some are sleeping. Three peacocks are walking on the grass. Their feathers are beautiful. On the hill, there are a lot of monkeys. They are lovely and naughty. A big monkey is chasing a small one and they are playing with each other.

I see different animals and learn a lot today. We have a good time in the Shanghai Zoo.

点评

本文文体为记叙文。小作者采取了最常见的一种写法，将事情的经过按时间顺序进行记录，但是整篇文章却没有给人以流水账的感觉，这就是小作者在行文中安排得当的结果。小作者记述动物园一日游时，采用了先总后分的方式，在分写时又注意到详略得当，能抓住动物的特征描写到位，文笔流畅，首尾呼应，富有童趣。

重点表达

1．such as…and so on 例如……等等

2．A big monkey is chasing a small one and they are playing with each other. 一只大猴子在追一只小猴子，他们在玩呢！

（注：四年级学生所学有限，本文原文大量运用一般现在时陈述。）

海滨之游　A Visit to the Beach

Last summer, I went to Hainan Island with my parents. We went to the beach and had a good time there. My father was swimming, while my mother was enjoying sunbath under the sun umbrella. Some children were building sandcastles，but I was not interested in it. I was collecting beautiful shells on the beach. Finally I went back to Shanghai with a little cute crab and a bag full of shells. How lucky I was!

点评

爱玩是孩子们的天性，美好的旅途会给他们留下很深刻的印象。本文小作者用一种轻松愉快的笔触描写了去年夏天与父母一起去海南岛游玩的经历。字里行间充分体现了这次旅游给小作者留下的美好印象。由于细节描写到位，小作者难忘这次旅游所给他的美好回忆一一展现在我们眼前。描写具体，用词丰富，表达了小作者热爱大自然、热爱生活的美好情怀。

重点表达

1．had a good time 玩得很开心

2．build sandcastles 垄城堡

3．I was not interested in it. 我对此不感兴趣。

be interested in doing sth. 对……事感兴趣

4．My father was swimming, while my mother was enjoying sunbath under the sun umbrella. 我的爸爸在游泳，妈妈在太阳伞下晒着日光浴（while引导的时间状语从句表示两个动作同时正在发生）。

5．a bag full of shells 满满一袋贝壳

公园游记　A Visit to a Park

It was a very hot day in summer. I didn't want to stay at home. Suddenly, I had a wonderful idea. I invited my friends to have a picnic in the park.

My friends and I found a beautiful place in the park. The sun was shining, and the sky was blue. The clouds were moving slowly. The flowers were dancing in the wind. Linda and I were sitting beside a fountain. We were talking about our school, our sports meet, our games and many interesting things. Lily was playing beside us. She was playing with water. She was wet but she was smiling happily. Lisa was playing football with John and Kevin. Dora was catching fish in the pond.

It was time for lunch. We took out our food and shared with each other. We were all very excited. The picnic was very interesting. We all think the picnic at the park was interesting.

点评

本文是作者在公园的一次野餐活动。小作者对景物描写优美静谧，充满感情，为本文增色不少，看得出作者是一位眼光独特、想象力丰富、感情细腻的孩子。接下来在公园中每一位孩子的神态、动作的迥异不同，描写很到位。虽然每一位的描写不多，寥寥几笔但很丰满、生动而又不失童趣。整篇文章读来有如行云流水，非常惬意，让我们也过了一次快乐的野餐。文章结构合理，用词准确，景物描写特别生动，值得小朋友借鉴一读。

重点表达

We took out our food and shared with each other. 我们拿出食物彼此分享。

share…with… 把……与某人分享

厦门游　A Visit to Xiamen

Xiamen is a beautiful city. It is famous for its beach and seafood. This winter, I went to Xiamen with my family.

We went to the beach near Ye Feng Zhai. It was sunny, and the wind was soft. The sky was blue and the clouds were white. I collected shells on the beach. They were white and green. Their shapes were strange. Some looked like fans and others looked like stars. Some of them were smooth and some were rough. My father swam in the sea happily. My mother took a lot of nice and interesting photos.

We had a good time in Xiamen. We all like Xiamen.

点评

本文是一篇游记，作者重点选取了一家人在海滩边度假的休闲，写出了内心的快乐和喜欢。作为一个小学生，词汇量有限，但是作者对于椰风寨附近沙滩、阳光、微风、蓝天白云的描写虽然简单却十分生动，让我们阅读时的心情也跟着明朗轻松起来。读罢全文，让人眼前浮现出一家人其乐融融的景象，温馨而快乐。作者用简单的句子很好地描绘出了当时的景与情，值得大家学习。

重点表达

1．It is famous for its beach and seafood. 因海滨景色和海鲜食品而闻名。

2．Their shapes were strange. 它们形状很奇特。

3．Some looked like fans and others looked like stars. 一些看上去像扇子，另一些像星星。

4．Some of them were smooth and some were rough. 一些光滑，一些粗糙。

5．swim in the sea happily 快乐地游泳

6．take photos 拍照

7．have a good time过得很开心

普吉岛之游　A Visit to Phuket

This winter holiday, I went to Phuket in Thailand.

The sea in Phuket was beautiful. We took a boat to visit many islands. The color of the sea was amazing. It was not only blue and green but also yellow and white. They were clean and clear. There were many colorful fish in the water. I wore a glass hat and jumped into the sea. I liked walking in the sea. Under the sea, I found some animals I had never seen in Shanghai. There were seahorses, starfish, seaweed, and shells. The fish swam around me, and I fed them with some bread.

I also liked Fantasea. It was a big park, like Disneyland. I played was games in it and watched a show in the theater.

I happy in Phuket, and I will never forget the beautiful scenery there.

点评

这是一篇小作者参观旅游泰国普吉岛的游记。色彩斑斓的海水、五彩缤纷的鱼儿，穿上潜水衣，漫步于神秘的海底，和海马、海星、水草、贝类来个亲密接触，那美丽的异国风情深深打动了我们每一个人。全文描写清婉可人，内容充实，文字流利，值得一读。

重点表达

1．The color of the sea was amazing. 水的颜色令人惊叹。

2．not only…but also… 不仅……而且……

3．clean and clear 干净清澈

4．colorful fish 五颜六色的鱼

5．I found some animals I had never seen in Shanghai. 我发现了一些我在上海从来也没能见到的动物。

6．swim around me 在我周围游来游去

7．feed them with some bread 用面包来喂它们

8．I will never forget the beautiful scenery there. 我永远也不会忘记那里美丽的景色。

东方绿舟一日游　A Visit to Oriental Green Land

It was a fine day. Father, mother and I went to the Oriental Green Land.

We went there by car. At nine o'clock we arrived there. How beautiful! There were many beautiful flowers and green grass. At a quarter past nine we went to the "Road of the Bravery". We met many difficulties. But we were brave. We passed the Chain Bridge, the Water Net, the Scaling Ladder, and the Brave Slide.

At eleven o'clock we ate our lunch. We had some hamburgers, sandwiches, cookies and some juice. After lunch we went to the "Interesting Bridge World". There were so many interesting bridges such as the Vat Bridge, the Net Bridge, the Five Ring Bridges and the Chain Bridge. I walked through all the bridges with my parents. We were so excited.

At last, we went to the "Aircraft Carrier Model". We saw many tanks, planes, boats and rockets there.

We went home at four o'clock. I was so happy.

点评

本文是一篇游记类的作文。小作者按照时间顺序叙述，将自己在东方绿舟的游玩路线和内容一一展现给大家，条理清楚。文章有几处优点：首先，作为一篇叙述过去发生事件的文章，小作者在写作时能注意到过去时态的完全统一；其次，对于东方绿舟内大量的游览内容，作者有选择地描写了其中最有特色的几项，有所侧重；最后，文章中有一些专有名词的英语翻译，可见小作者在游览的同时也不忘注意观察，这对于英语学习的积累是很有帮助的。

重点表达

1．We met many difficulties. 我们遇到了很多困难。

2．so many interesting bridges 很多有趣的桥

3．walk through all the bridges 走过所有的桥

4．We were so excited. 我们很兴奋。

一次郊游　A Visit to the Countryside

In big cities，there are high buildings, beautiful cars, wonderful shops and comfortable houses. But in the countryside, there are a lot of things we don't have in the city: fresh air, green fields, blue sky, and fresh vegetables.

This winter holiday, we went to my dad's hometown in Hubei. We drove for a long time. When we got there, my grandmother, my uncle, my aunt and my cousins all came out to welcome us. Although they were a little bit shy, they were very friendly to us. On the Eve of the Lunar New Year we all sat around a big table. There were chickens, fish and fresh vegetables. They were so delicious! Mom said we couldn't buy such fresh food in the city.

I saw strawberries in a green house. We went inside and picked a lot of strawberries. They were red and fresh. it was the first time for me to pick strawberries. How interesting! They tasted sweet.

I had a wonderful time in the countryside. I hope I can go there again!

点评

小作者通过对比，在文章一开头就写到了乡村较之城市所特有的优势：新鲜的空气、绿色的田野、蔚蓝的天空……这一切让从小在城市里长大的孩子多么的向往；第二段小作者做客湖北农村，以孩子特有的眼光描写了她所观察到的一切，淳朴的乡土人情和美味的农家菜肴，无疑又更加令人喜欢这种乡村生活；第三段描写了小作者采摘草莓的过程，生动富有生活气息，让人体会到了浓浓的情趣。如此丰富有趣的乡村生活，怎么能不让小作者感觉意犹未尽呢？

重点表达

1．We drove for a long time. 我们开车行驶了很久。

2．When we got there, my grandmother, my uncle, my aunt and my cousins all came out to welcome us. 当我们到达那里，我的奶奶、伯伯、姑姑和表兄们都出来迎接我们。

3．Although they were a little bit shy, they were very friendly to us. 虽然他们有点害羞，但他们对我们十分友好。

4．on the Eve of the Lunar New Year 在除夕之夜

5．it was the first time for me to pick strawberries. 那是我第一次釆草莓。

游桂林　A Visit to Guilin

Some say that Guilin is the most beautiful place in the world. During the Spring Festival we went to Guilin by plane. We could see many beautiful places there. There were so many mountains and lakes. I felt that I was in a different world.

On the first day in Guilin we visited Qixing Park and the Mount of Xiangbi. The mountain was the symbol of Guilin. It looked like an elephant. In the afternoon we enjoyed ourselves in the Li River. We sailed a boat and saw many fish swimming in the river. We also found crabs and prawns in the ponds. On the second day we went sightseeing in Guilin and went shopping there. In the afternoon we visited the Banyan Landscape and the Butterfly Spring. How beautiful they were!

I like Guilin very much and I will visit it soon.

点评

这是一篇在游玩旅游胜地桂林之后的小练笔。桂林的山水之美在小作者的笔下流淌，从文章的字里行间，我们能领略到它的独特，它的俊美。文中对于象鼻山的描写，形象逼真。此外对于漓江的描写，间接含蓄，用河水中历历可见活泼跳动的小鱼、小虾、小蟹衬托出河水的清澈见底，增添了不少情趣。

重点表达

1．the most beautiful place in the world 世界上最美丽的地方

2．I felt that I was in a different world. 我感觉自己在另一个世界里。

3．the symbol of Guilin 桂林的标志

4．It looked like an elephant. 它看上去像一头大象。

5．see many fish swimming in the river 看见很多鱼在河里游来游去

6．On the second day we went sightseeing in Guilin and went shopping there. 第二天，我们去桂林市观光购物。

南方商城购物记　A Visit to the South Shopping Mall

Before the Spring Festival, my mother and I went to the South Shopping Mall.

There were five floors in the mall. On the first floor, there were many clothes and shoes. My mother bought a pair of boots and a red down jacket. They were beautiful. On the second floor and the third floor there was a big supermarket. We bought some paper and some sweets. On the fourth floor there was an electronic city. On the fifth floor, there were many video games. They were interesting.

I was very happy that day.

点评

小作者在写这篇文章的时候，注意记住了现实生活中场所的英语名字，正是因为亲身经历并且细心观察，所以写出来也特别有真实感。这篇文章把南方商城每个楼面介绍得很详细，即使从来没有去过的人，通过阅读这篇文章，对于南方商城也有了一定的了解。值得注意的是，对于过去事件的记录，小作者在文章中统一用了过去时态。

重点表达

1．a pair of boots and a red down jacket 一双靴子和一件红色鸭绒衣

2．an electronic city 电器城