weaponized incompetence

— Trace that logic out a bit, and you arrive at a kind of weaponized incompetence: Your husband isn’t good at certain tasks, so he shouldn’t have to do them. No. He should learn how to do them. Negligence as a domestic partner is unacceptable. Your exhaustion and unhappiness alone should be enough to motivate him. Why isn’t it? Is your husband O.K. with you feeling run-down and exploited? Is he O.K. with you thinking of him as a child, rather than a grown man? I’m posing these questions because it’s clear from your letter than you’ve asked your husband for more help repeatedly. The time has come for a reckoning in which you renegotiate the terms of your marriage. I’d strongly recommend that you seek the help of a counselor, who can make sure you’re both saying everything you need to say — and listening to each other.