1 、认识婚姻的性质
婚姻是彼此伴有相应的权利、责任、义务的契约。婚姻不但是双方自觉自愿的行为,彼此赢得了爱情,而且既有道德的义务,也有法律的约束。所以,婚姻不是随心所欲的,必然受到诸多社会因素的制约。
2 、了解婚姻生活的要求
婚姻形成的家庭,是社会组织的细胞。婚姻不仅仅是两个人的世界,还必须处理好由此派生出的各种血缘关系和各种亲属关系。婚姻关系中的爱情关系、经济关系、性关系、法律关系,是通过夫妻双方的责任、忠诚和理解来实现的。
3 、对配偶建立正确的期望值
在婚后最初的日子里,互相建立起一种实际的期望值,可使结婚成为治疗 “ 幼稚病 ” 的医院,自觉进行自我分析、自我认识、理解对方,设身处地为他人着想,达到新婚夫妻的和谐相处。
4 、正确对待认知特性上的夫妻差异
婚后会出现各种需要夫妻共同思考和决断的问题,相互应该了解男女思维方式上的性别差异,以便尽快建立双方认知态度的共同基础,双方都不应以自我为中心,而应将双方的差异作为处理问题上的互补因素。
5 、实现夫妻间的角色平衡
夫妻间可能存在社会角色上的差异,在素质、个性心理特征和行为习惯方面的差异,会影响着夫妇在家庭中所扮演的角色。当新婚生活开始后,夫妻之间必须相互了解对方的要求和愿望,使自己的家庭角色既有个性,又有弹性,不断调节相互间的角色要求。双方都应该通过完善自己,发挥自己的长处,尽力缩短彼此的差异,来实现夫妻间的角色平衡。
6 、适应对方的个性和生活习惯
婚后的生活中,夫妻双方必然带有自己原来家庭的生活习惯和自身的个性。双方必须学会克制、变通及相互的适应,尤其应注意抛弃自己的不良嗜好,努力改变自己个性中的弱点和缺点。双方应建立起相互尊重、信任和真诚相处的关系。
7 、过好新婚性生活。夫妻发生第一次性关系前,必须有充分的心理准备
第一次性交时,女方处女膜破裂,可能会带来一些疼痛,丈夫要动作轻柔些。还可用多次渐进的方式,以减少女方的疼痛。新婚之初性生活也可能不成功,这也是正常的,可经过一段时间的相互适应以达到性生活的和谐。还可通过医生或性专家的咨询、指导,来达到夫妻之间性的和谐,在这方面精神心理的积极因素常常是起决定的作用的。
8 、应懂得有关避孕、优生、优育、优教的知识,懂得预防性病的知识,在新婚初期,双方都需要适应和调整,短期内可能并不适合养育孩子。所以,应该选择双方都能接受的避孕方式,并应制定适合双方的生育计划。随着社会的进步,为了提高人们的婚姻质量和人口素质,新婚性教育显得越来越重要,并且在不断充实它的内容,在形式上也在不断变革,使之更符合新婚男女的需要。
The 1, nature that understands marriage
Marriage is the bond that each other companion has corresponding right, responsibility, obligation. Marriage not only the behavior that is bilateral voluntarily, each other won love, and the obligation that has morality already, also have legal tie. So, marriage is not follow one's inclinations, get necessarily of element of a lot of society restrict.
The 2, requirement that understands matrimony
The family that marriage forms, it is the cell of organism. Marriage is two the individual's worlds not just, still must have handled from this all sorts of kin that derive gives concern with all sorts of relatives. The love relation in marital relation, economy impact, sexual relationship, law concerns, the responsibility that carries both sides of husband and wife, faithfulness and understanding will come true.
3, right the spouse builds correct expectation to be worth
In first after marriage time, establish a kind of real expectation value each other, can make marry become treatment " infantilism " hospital, have each other of understanding of ego analysis, ego, understanding self-consciously, be considerate is other consider, the harmony that achieves newly-married husband and wife gets along.
Treat the difference of husband and wife on cognitive character 4, correctly
All sorts of need husband and wife can appear to ponder over the problem with make a decision jointly after marriage, should know the sexual difference on means of thinking of male and female each other, so that build the collective base of bilateral and cognitive manner as soon as possible, both sides should not be a center with ego, and the complementary element that should regard processing problem as to go up bilateral difference.
The part between husband and wife of 5, implementation is balanced
The likelihood between husband and wife is put in the difference on social part, the difference of the respect is used to in feature of psychology of quality, individual character and behavior, the part that can affect a couple to be acted in the place in the family. After newly-married life begins, between husband and wife must the requirement of the other side of understand one another and desire, make oneself domestic role individualizes already, bouncy, adjust ceaselessly mutual the part requirement between. Both sides should be passed perfect oneself, produce oneself advantage, endeavor to shorten each other difference, will achieve the part balance between husband and wife.
The 6, individual character that gets used to the other side and habits and customs
In the life after marriage, both sides of husband and wife contains him necessarily the individual character of the habits and customs of original family and oneself. Both sides must learn to exercise restraint, flexible and each other suit, should notice to abandon especially oneself unhealthy addiction, change the weakness in him individual character and weakness hard. Both sides should establish mutual respect, accredit and the relationship that get along sincerely.
Sexual life of too 7, good newly-married. Before sexual relationship of first time of happening of husband and wife, must have sufficient psychological preparation
When making love for the first time, woman Hymen burst, may bring a few ache, the husband wants behavioral gentleness some. Return the means that can use progress step by step for many times, in order to reduce the woman's ache. Newly-married at the beginning of sexual life does not succeed possibly also, this also is normal, what can pass period of time is mutual get used to the harmony with reaching sexual life. Return what can pass doctor or sexual expert to seek advice, directive, will achieve husband and wife between sexual harmony, of the effect that often has a decision in the positive factor of psychology of this respect spirit.
8, should know about use contraceptive, the knowledge that Yo of prepotent, actor, actor teachs, know the knowledge with venereal precaution, in newly-married initial stage, both sides needs to suit and be adjusted, short-term inside the likelihood does not suit to rear the child. So, the contraceptive way that should choose both sides to be able to be accepted, should make those who suit both sides bear a plan. As social progress, to improve the marital quality of people and population quality, newly-married sex education appears more and more important, and be in enrich its content ceaselessly, also be in in formally change ceaselessly, make more the need that accords with newly-married men and women.