英语笑话：Irish Bank Robbery 爱尔兰银行抢劫案

Irish Bank Robbery

Excerpted from an article about a bank robbery which appeared in the Dublin Times （metropolitan edition，page 2A） on 2 March 1999:

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight，their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately. The robbers，who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables，were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe’s combination，and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank’s audiotape system，one said，“At least we’ll get a bit to eat.”

The robbers opened up a second safe，and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.

They found not one pound sterling，a diamond，or an ounce of gold. Instead，all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed，the robbers made a quiet exit，each leaving with nothing more than a queasy，uncomfortably full stomach.

The newspaper headline read :

IRELAND’S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

英语词汇

1.Bank Robbery - 银行抢劫案

2.Internal Security System - 内部安保系统

3.Robbers - 强盗

4.Combination - 密码锁

5.Vanilla Pudding - 香草布丁

6.Audiotape System - 监听系统

7.Safes - 保险柜

8.Pound Sterling - 英镑

9.Diamond - 钻石

10.Ounce of Gold - 盎司黄金

11.Disappointed - 失望的

12.Exit - 退出

13.Queasy - 恶心的

14.Uncomfortably Full - 胃撑得难受

15.Headline - 标题

爱尔兰银行抢劫案

节选自1999年3月2号《都柏林时报》（都市版，第二页）关于一篇银行抢劫案的报道：

刚过午夜，强盗们立即动手破坏了银行内部的安保系统。他们希望能找到一两只装着现金或珠宝的大保险柜。结果令他们惊奇的是，银行里面到处都是一些小的保险柜，共有几百只。

强盗们撬开了第一只保险柜的密码锁，发现里面只有一盘香草布丁。根据银行监听系统的录音，一个强盗说：“我们至少得吃一点。”

强盗们打开了第二个保险柜，里面同样只有香草布丁。就这样他们打开了所有的保险柜。

他们没有发现一镑钞票、一份珠宝、或者一盎司黄金。每一个保险柜里都装着一盘盖着的布丁。

强盗们感到非常失望，一声不响地离开了。每一个人走的时候除了胃被撑得直犯恶心外，一无所获。

报纸的标题为：爱尔兰最大的精子银行今天凌晨遭抢劫。