名篇背诵：Why I Want a Wife 我为什么要娶妻

Why I Want a Wife 我为什么要娶妻

朱迪·赛菲丝(Judy Syfers)

I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a rest and a change of scene.

I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.

I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will take care of the babysitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about the things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my guests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d'oeuvres, that they are offered a second helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself.

When I am through with school and have acquired a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife's duties.

My God, who wouldn't want a wife?

pick up 收拾，整理

- sympathize [ˈsɪmpəθaɪz] v. 同情

- ramble [ˈræmbl] v. 闲聊，漫谈

- quit [kwɪt] v. 放弃，辞职

我要娶个能照顾我身体需求的妻子。我要娶个能保持房里户外清洁的妻子。我要娶妻，让她跟在孩子后面收拾东西，也要跟在我后面收拾东西。我要娶妻，她把我的衣服洗净，熨好，修补，必要时换新的。我要娶妻，负责把我个人物品放在合适的地方，让我随时找到所要的东西。我要娶妻，计划好日常菜单，做必要的食品杂货采购，准备好一日三餐，并愉快地端上餐桌，餐后我看书读报时，她洗刷碗碟。我要娶妻，让她在我生病的时候照顾我，对我的病痛和失去的学习时间同情惋惜。我要娶妻，她和全家一起去度假，当我需要休息和换个景点的时候，有人能继续照顾我和我的孩子。

我要娶妻，要她不为妻子的义务嘟囔着抱怨，来打扰我。但是我要娶妻，在我的学业上遇到较大的难点，感到需要解释一番时，她能洗耳恭听。我要娶妻，在我写完论文之后，会帮我把它打印出来。

我要娶妻，她要关照我社交生活的各种细节。当我和妻子应朋友之邀外出时，我要妻子精心做好带孩子安排事宜。当我在学校遇到喜欢的人想要招待他们时，我要我的妻子得清扫好房屋，准备好美味佳肴，款待我和我的朋友，而当我们交谈感兴趣的话题时，她不能来打扰我们。我要娶的妻子，要在我的客人到达之前，安排好孩子们吃饭，做好上床睡觉的准备，这样孩子们就不会打扰我们。我要娶的妻子，应当照料客人的需求，让他们感到舒适，要确保他们有烟灰缸，给他们递上餐前点心，能帮他们添饭夹菜，必要时帮他们把红酒杯续斟，按他们喜好给他们捧上咖啡。我要娶妻，要能理解有时候我需要独自外出，夜不归宿。

当我完成学业获得一份工作以后，我希望我的妻子能辞职待在家里，这样她能更完全更彻底地尽妻子的责任。

天哪，谁不想娶这样的妻子呢？

朱迪·赛菲丝(1937—　)，出生于旧金山，女权主义者。1972年在《Ms 》(《女士》杂志)上发表“我为什么要娶妻”。作者身为人妻，有两个孩子，深深体会到大男子主义的自私和作为贤妻良母的艰难，所以本文言辞甚为激烈。