英语笑话：Two Hours 两个小时

Two Hours

A few days after Christmas，a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new airplane in the living room．She heard her son say，“All of you sons of bitches get the hell off the plane now，because this is the last stop！And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on，get your asses in the plane，because we’re going to take off now．”

The mother went in and told her son，“We don’t use that kind of language in this house．Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS．When you come out，you may play with your plane，but I want you to use nice language．”Two hours later，the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his plane．Soon the mother heard her son say，“All passengers who are deplaning，please remember to take all of your belongings with you．We thank you for flying with us today and hope your trip will be a pleasant one．We hope you will fly with us again soon．”

She heard the little boy continue，“For those of you just boarding，we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat．Remember，there is no smoking on the plane．We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today．”

As the mother began to smile，the child added，“For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay，please see the bad woman in the kitchen．”

英语词汇

1.bitches - 混蛋（通常指女性，这里用于不礼貌的称呼）

2.the hell - 该死的（表示强烈不满或强调）

3.last stop - 最后一站

4.get your asses - 快点（粗俗说法，意为“快点行动”）

5.take off - 起飞

6.deplaning - 下飞机

7.hand luggage - 手提行李

8.no smoking - 禁止吸烟

9.pissed off - 恼火的，生气的

10.delay - 延误，晚点

两个小时

圣诞节刚过没几天，妈妈正在厨房里忙着，听到儿子在客厅里玩刚买的玩具飞机。她听到儿子说：“你们这些混蛋该滚下飞机了。这是最后一站了！你们这些要登机的混蛋们，该死的都快给我上来，我们马上就要起飞了。”

妈妈跑进去，对儿子说：“在我们家里不应该说这种话。现在我要你到自己的房间里去，在里面待上两个小时。等你出来以后才可以玩你的飞机，但我希望你能使用文明的语言。”两小时后，儿子从卧室里出来，继续玩他的飞机。不多久妈妈听到儿子说：“要下飞机的旅客，请不要忘记将您所有的行李带好。非常感谢今天你们能够乘坐本次航班，祝大家旅途愉快。希望在不久的将来你们能再次光临。”

她听到儿子继续说：“那些刚刚登机的旅客，请将手提行李放在你们的座位下面。记住，飞机上严禁吸烟。祝所有旅客旅途愉快。”

妈妈露出了笑容，却听到儿子继续说：“如果有人因为飞机晚点两个小时而感到恼火，就到厨房去找那个坏女人吧。”